Sometimes I make up jokes and just tell them to myself.

This morning I considered how perhaps the most poignant expression of “the Lord gives, the Lord takes away” will end up being about my hair loss. I did cry about having leukemia, multiple times. I cry when fears hit me too, and I cry when I feel fierce love and joy.

But right now the most likely thing I’m crying about (should you catch me doing so) is that I’m starting to lose my hair. And it’ll keep going until there’s not much left, if any. I knew I liked the hair I have, but I didn’t realize how even my heart is attached to it. I’m mad and I don’t want to lose my hair.

Which is what leads me to what Job said when he lost so many more important things. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. And then: blessed be the name of the Lord.

This will be a hard lesson for me in trusting Him, and I don’t even know what I need to trust Him for. When my hair falls out, He has not changed, and really I haven’t either. He gave me the hairs, He knows how many there are now, how many there will be in ten minutes, and He can take them away. He made each one, and He made me. They were only meant to be temporary anyway; their time is simply ending sooner than I’d strongly prefer.

All is grace. We have received such good gifts from God, but whether they’re ours or someone else’s, they never stop belonging to God. And what a comforting thought just came: I never stop belonging to God.

I may never be content with this situation. I hope I can, but regardless, I will remind myself that I will never stop belonging to God.

Glory be, what good news this is.