What a whirlwind time of life. I feel like you’ve finally arrived at adulthood when you realize how difficult it is to just do the bare minimum. Of course, we all have different definitions of that. For us, it consists of working full days, exercising, cooking dinner, keeping home sort of clean-ish, seeing to a few commitments, meeting with people occasionally, and stuff like showering.
I’m not nearly as booked as I was in college. I have no idea who I was then – whence did I draw all that energy? I just don’t recall doing homework that much. I spent very much time with people, and planned lots of events, and trained for half-marathons, and every year I slept less. Senior year this hit me hard and I did a sort of reclusive turnabout. Made for a confusing season in my life where I had to learn who I really was and wanted to be.
Now, I have a better handle on that. I’m acutely aware of my limits, talents, deficiencies, dreams. Knowing my goals allows me to mostly just do the things that align with the vision. Well, some of the things that align with the vision. There’s vastly more I want to do, begin, accomplish, see to. But when I don’t pace myself these days, the consequences hit almost immediately. So I have to learn to be patient with myself and our circumstances.
Part of the struggle is living in this incredible, exhausting city. A soft spot is growing in my heart for it – the greatest surprise of the year! I’m sure I will be sad to leave here one day.
But it makes me so tired. I can hardly believe I used to be annoyed by a 15-minute walk or bike ride to work, or drive across AN ENTIRE TOWN. A visit to my old Waco [TX] land a few weeks ago reminded me of what I used to take for granted, in the way of parking, personal space, and affordability and ease of life in general.
While writing this I’m trying to come up with a purpose for it. I always encourage people to start something without having any idea of where they want to go with it.
Haha.
Every couple of weeks I’m hoping to give updates like this about our home adventures. I have a tendency to want to end my posts with a wrap-up message or conclusion, but not everything comes together that neatly in life, so why should it here? I’m not really doing this to provide you with sermons every few days.
Life together has to involve vulnerability and openness to hard things. With that in mind, here’s a snapshot of what we’ve been up to, and, friend, wouldn’t you let me in on your adventures too? What have you learned about life full of things? About patience and being tired?
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We are experiencing some great things, and struggling through others. We’re trying to figure out community and how to pursue it at church. Hubs starts full-time classes today, and he’s also in the midst of a potential transition at work.
More and more we see how much the small decisions matter in efforts to prevent breakdown. This is a season of feeling tired and of needing great patience with one another and the world around us. I don’t have any pictures of us feeling that because who takes pictures of themselves when they’re fighting or crying? Those things still happen, and it will never be my intention to hide them.
Those of you who feel like us, let’s do this together. If you’re encountering something different, we others need your encouragement and wisdom. The most comforting thing for me in all this is knowing we’re part of God’s big story, His great adventure.
And here is where you find me.