We live in Washington now! And it is a beauty.

January filled our hearts and a moving truck. February filled our days with looking for a home and coffee shops and restaurants. And in March, we fill our house – with belongings, prayers, ourselves, and those we love.

We still can’t get over what God has given to us in our new home. As we set it up over the next couple of months, I will share more about it!

We have begun to fall in love with the Seattle area and the weather and the flowers – and what extreme grace, that my godparents live here, and our dear friends from San Francisco have relocated here. So we have people, and we have that feeling of being home.

Hubs is thriving at his new job, where he is challenged and encouraged and advised and respected. He will be waiting until after our Europe trip to resume classes, so we can settle in.

I will be looking for a job soon, but first, I’m off to England this weekend with my parents! Still hard to believe that’s happening, but I’m looking forward to revisiting the motherland — actually, the fatherland, for me.

God has been gracious to me in this transition. I have had some depressed days and stressed moments, but overall my heart has been light and hopeful. I sorely miss our SF community, our neighbourhood, the park, the FOOD, the patterns of life we had there. Yet God has kept me emotionally limber, allowing me to adjust to this new thing with relative ease. We are making a new community, and now the challenge for me is to do the hard work of cultivating friendships in yet another place, while seeing to it that the old ones continue to flourish. But this is good work.

I hope to resume a regular pattern of writing again once I return from abroad. Until then, thank you, reader, for your prayer and friendship. Please pray that Hubs and I don’t settle for any lethargy or complacency, but that we pursue good rhythms and practices, and proceed wisely and prayerfully as we nestle into this home and life.

May the God of peace dwell with you richly.

xoxo,

E

Now, more than ever, do I need to hear my own words to you about our true Home.

In a month, we’ll be living in a different state. Hubs got the job, and it’s in Seattle! Things have fallen in pleasant places for us; we get moving assistance, housing assistance, and the seminary is there too.

This is the last month we have here and it is hitting me in all sorts of inexplicable ways. Like, I’m a bit terrified, but I’m butterfly-excited, but I’m deeply sad and wistful, yet I want to get this transition over with, and also I want it to last so I can soak in these last days. SO basically I’m paralyzed.

This human is kind of a mess right now.

But what I firmly believe is that God is my one real thing, our only true rest and shelter. In His presence I am Home.

We’re never really settled in this world, in this life. We can entrench ourselves into a house we buy and never leave a community, but all this will pass. The life we build around ourselves is about to disappear.

…….

I struggle when so much is shifting. The routine and rhythm I love to have is sort of out the window as we try to see all the people and do all the final things. There are some certain things in the future, but January is not included. I feel like I’m downhill skiing on a black diamond run with a deadline and moguls. I’m not at ease when I ski, because I focus so much on controlling every muscle movement and ski placement. Why? I. hate. falling.

To avoid one of my least favourite sensations, I put everything into consciously turning, bending my knees, correcting my balance. All whilst traveling at a high speed because there’s only so much time and anyway, the sooner we get done that’s less time I have to spend skiing.

I’m thinking about too many things, and everything is changing, and I have to stay on top of myself or I will just crash.

There, I’m talking like someone who doesn’t know about Jesus.

I’m pretending I control all this. Reader, welcome to my every day. Oops.

………

So much is shifting, and unforeseen challenges are bound to present themselves. And yes, it’s all coming at us very quickly.

There’s just one teeny tiny life-changing truth: God is sovereign.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His Name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.*

Every couple of weeks I’m hoping to give updates about our home adventures. I have a tendency to want to end my posts with a wrap-up message or conclusion, but not everything comes together that neatly in life, so why should it here? I’m not really doing this to provide you with sermons every few days. Let’s be real.

…

This entire month has felt so so very long. Something people say often is that time flew by, yet seemed to take forever. Endless is the number of conversations I’ve had about this. Why do we keep saying it as if it were a new concept?

Anyway, October did not fly by. It was like eating a huge meal over the course of a day, where you don’t have time to fully digest but you keep being given stuff to eat. And you’re like, “when will this end? I need a pause, people.”

Just reading that over again makes me feel uncomfortable. You too? You’re welcome.

That’s how I’ve felt for about 30 days. Hubs is about halfway through his academic quarter, and he has so much on his plate with work and classes. I’m proud of him though; he started out so strong, making a homework plan and reading every day to keep up with it. And last month, he had interviews for an internal job opening, and he technically got the job! Now we’re waiting to learn what and where it will be, exactly.

I’ve been working and becoming more and more involved with our church family. In concert with a couple of other women, I started a monthly gathering for women with the intention of deep conversation.* At this point, I’m the only one of our trio still involved, so I’m feeling the burden a bit more and hoping to find others to join me in leading it. I’m also assisting with the women’s Bible study at our church, which brings me to my knees in unworthiness. Why on earth am I someone leading a small group of sisters in discussion and fellowship these past 6 weeks? God has ways we don’t understand. I know I’m learning more than I’m teaching.

Hubs and I have to this point been training for races, but now, for different reasons, we’re calling that into question. Hubs hurt his knee last week and will need to take really good care of it, so we’ll see. On the other hand, I’m learning about a different way of being healthy (primal living/paleo, to be precise), and it doesn’t include distance running so much. So we’ll see.

A couple of weeks ago, a dear friend moved in with us, where she’ll be through the end of the year. It is a joy to see her every day. I am sure challenges will come, but we are all excited for what God will do in and through us and one another.

Birthday/family dinner with our new roomie!

And, friends, last night my sister arrived! Her trip was meant to surprise me for my birthday (oh hey I just turned 26), but oops, I guessed the surprise based on my husband’s dodgy hints and secretiveness. I am so honoured to have her with me for these few days.

That is my sis. 🙂

It’s been just over a month that I’ve been writing consistently, and it is absolutely a habit hard to form. Yet, looking back on what I’ve written is encouraging and empowering, and I know I’ll get better at this. It’s what I’m supposed to be doing with myself. That, and so many thoughts have been trying to get my attention in my brain that I can hardly attend to any of them.

Friends, I have been forgetting to chew. Doesn’t feel good to swallow if that’s the case, and definitely not great for the tummy. So much has been coming in, and while I’ve become slightly better at saying no to some things, I still feel full. I am pretty ready for this meal to end and give me a break.

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Sometimes, life looks you in the face and says, “Here’s a break.” Examples: when you’re too sick to do anything, when you’re on vacation. And sometimes, life doesn’t proceed with regard for your needs and you have to holler at it, “I’m taking my break now.” And get up from the table, go for a walk, stretch, breathe, think. Stop eating.

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Sometimes, you don’t realize you’ve been eating that much. Maybe you watch TV with your hand on auto pilot in and out of a bag of something or other. And then you stop watching for a second, and you’re really not feeling good.

But enough is enough, and in the next few days I’ll be crafting an opportunity for stillness and digestion. This doesn’t mean circumstances will change whatsoever. And at this moment, I feel sort of that uncomfortable I hinted at in the beginning – this over-full, this exhaustion that comes with big meals.

And here is where you find me.

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Life together has to involve vulnerability and openness to hard things. With that in mind, this is a snapshot of what we’ve been up to, and, friend, wouldn’t you let me in on your adventures too? What have you learned about life full of things? About digestion and chaos?

*Inspired by IF:Table